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I'm Not From This World


Something a good friend said to me once that still plays in my head constantly is,

“You don’t really fit into any one group of guys that I can think of. There is no one else on the planet like you, Kwam.”

That was said to be a compliment, which I accepted and appreciated, but at the same time, it made me wonder one thing. Why am I so different from everyone else?

Growing up I tried to fit in many different friend groups just to find my “tribe” of people. They all pretty much didn’t fully accept me of course. I enjoy basketball but didn’t really fit in with the other athletes outside of the sport. I loved to produce and perform music, but didn’t quite fit into the “band geek” pose either. I could never find my tribe.

That’s not to say I’m completely a loner and I don’t have any friends. I did happen to make three really good friends throughout the years who are still my closest friends to this day as well as dated some interesting women at times, but I still find it difficult to make genuine friendships or maintain a relationship even in my 20s due to how different I am from the majority of my peers.

I am a huge introvert, but I wouldn’t say I am shy to talk to new people. If I run into someone who interests me enough I will speak to them. Any other time I am quiet though, not because I am shy, but because I just don’t have a strong enough interest in the person or conversation going on at the time.

I also don’t have the same desires and interests most people my age do. I don’t like to drink or smoke. I don’t like to go to bars or clubs. I’m not into house parties or raves. I’m not too infatuated with sex. I have no interest in becoming famous on Twitter, Instagram, or TikTok. I don’t even like talking about popular TV shows or celebrities.

I prefer a nice intellectual conversation or a conversation on how someone’s mind works and how they think. I also enjoy learning new things and being creative in moments of solitude instead of being around people too often. I am not interested in what this music artist said about this music artist, or whether or not I’m following the latest fashion or social media trend.

I am also not attached to my phone. I can go hours without lifting my phone up and still enjoy life to the fullest. Because most people my age are constantly posting and scrolling on social media or texting their friends and loved ones all day, some find it odd that I don’t participate in those activities. That’s not to say I don’t sometimes scroll Twitter or TikTok every once in a while, but it doesn’t consume more than an hour of my day.

I also don’t text often. Even as we speak there are a few hundred unread text messages in my phone that I will get to eventually. I prefer to talk in person, or if it’s that important people know to just call me. Otherwise, I will get to it when I get to it. My phone is not the most important thing to me.

It is as if because I don’t partake in the same interests and activities that most of my peers enjoy that makes me “weird” which in turn makes people uninterested in me I guess.

One major disconnect I have with other guys my age is their obsession with women and sex. Almost every guy I know is quick to flex how many women they’ve slept with or who their next “hit” is. Don’t get me wrong, I like a nice attractive lady as much as the next guy, but I’m not willing to talk about or treat them as if all they’re good for is sex.

It sucks trying to explain to other people how I am the way I am. Nobody actually cares about that. If you don’t abide by the “norm” you are already labeled as a “weirdo” or an “alien”. That’s not to say some haven’t accepted me for me, but they still try to find a way to throw my difference to others in my face at times, which in my opinion is weird.

I'd be lying if I said it doesn’t make me feel somewhat alone in this world sometimes. Being so different from the rest of my peers makes it extremely difficult to make new friends and even date in today’s society. Sometimes I wish I met more like-minded people. To be fully understood and accepted for who I truly am.

Honestly, it’s not as bad as it sounds being the way I am. Sure, there are many complications when it comes to connecting with most people I interact with, but I find peace in being unique from others. I don’t seek validation from others, and it is a whole lot better to have 2 to 3 really good friends than a hundred sketchy ones. Eventually, you will find those few people who do make you feel heard, think you are the coolest being to ever touch the planet, and love you for who you are.

Over the years I’ve learned to accept my differences from everyone and even take pride in it. I don’t want to be like everyone else. I am completely fine being Kwam. He’s a really cool guy! But I can’t help but think to myself,

“What would my life be like if I wasn’t so different?”

Oh well. It doesn’t matter now, does it?

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